Saturday, July 2, 2011

Tears on Linoleum

I've been MIA.


Wait, AWOL is the name of the bar I stole my gay Coors Light coasters from.

Beer is manly you guys.
Where the hell have I been? Just chilling with my bros and ice cold Coors Light like those dudes on my coasters, obviously.

Long story short, somebody I used to date was bothered by this post, something about how its depiction of me dating a girl (over two years ago) bothered him, even though I wasn't dating him anymore, or something? I don't know, we were drunk so I'm sure it made sense at the time. The point is, it forced me to reevaluate what I put on this blog...

Just kidding!
That would be silly.

I've actually been sort of busy getting in car accidents, graduating college, working here and here and here and here, going to Pennsylvania with friends, celebrating my 23rd birthday, attending my high school reunion, and looking for a job.

Looking for a job.

Searching for a job is sort of like a dating game. You put yourself out there to someone that interests you, showing your best face (just look at all these other places I've made happy!), then stare expectantly at your phone praying they love you back. It usually ends with no response and you crying on the bathroom floor with a Four Loko while your roommate worries that she won't get her deposit back because of the ass print you've left in the linoleum.

We'll return to our regularly scheduled fuckery after I wipe my tears from the linoleum.

If I had to guess I'd say that it will take me until Monday.


  1. I've found that most places of potential employment like additional materials that really showcase your unique character. By using examples of national prominence, I think the most common kind of application supplement these days are sexts.

    Send the hiring managers cockshots. In addition to really exposing your confidence and proving you have nothing to hide, it shows initiative and an ability to go above and beyond everyday requirements of the job.

  2. Awesome. It's like, right when I started to follow you, you just quit blogging. What the fuck? Looking forward to more fun, then. =)